Variations on a Theme: Days Nine throughTwelve

There have been difficulties and distractions. At the forefront, Adam has been in excruciating pain. The end result: (after a trip to the emergency room) three hour root canal. I left my phone on. Joe says I have been a nicer person since I started meditating. I'm not sure what this means. I stil fret plenty over my kids. The night Adam went to the ER, I slept only a couple of hours, as I tried to keep in touch with him through text messages.

Lee told me that the stillness allows one to see others more clearly because one sees oneself more clearly. I await clarity. I look at myself and see the same person I have always seen. That person who struggles and lacks the ability to live up to her own standards, as a writer, as a friend, as a carnivore without much of a food conscience. But, I have been successful at preserving twenty minutes each day (oops, yesterday was only ten) and trying my best to halt thoughts.

Tonight, there was the beat of rain as I coaxed my third eye to relax into my heart. Tomorrow, I see my guru.