I have clumsinesses. There are awkward untoward comments that replay in my mind over and over. There are dropped coffee cups and broken glasses, and once there was a dumped pan of lasagna at a dinner party. There are forgotten birthdays, sympathy cards unsent, sarcastic emails mistakenly dispatched to a stepson's teacher. I had an expectation that meditation would make me more gracious. A person who didn't do so many boneheaded things. It would make me aware of stuff going on around me that I'd never quite tuned into before, things that other people seemed to manage so effortlessly. Meditation would clear my mind and I would be able to slow down my words and my actions.
I am meditating and I am still me.