Sad Truths: Days Thirty-Seven and Thirty-Eight, Monday

When I arrived at my meditation time today, it was with a great sense of relief and gratitude.  I half expected myself not to sit today (or yesterday for that matter), but I did sit both times.  It has gotten to the point where I'm very nervous not to meditate.  I am afraid I will lose the ability to sort things out.  This morning I woke up with an extremely clear sense of what someone was trying to say to me yesterday.  He was saying one thing, but on reflection, it was so obvious he meant something quite different.  What he meant was he is fearful of having an intimate emotional relationship in his life.  This is the truth and this is very sad.