Day Forty! This is remarkable. No huge revelation in my life, but there there is a bit more space available for me to loll around in. My beloved teacher, Sheila Shwartz, once described going from writing short stories to writing a novel like getting out of tight clothes. It all comes back to being able to breathe.
I think this is a good time to go back and explain a bit more about the methodology of the meditation. For me, it's important to do things in pretty much the same way every time I sit my ass down on the chair. This means taking five or six diaphrammatic breaths (puffing out my belly on the inhale), then imagining a light in my head, my third eye. I either just try to relax my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth or I imagine a light from my third eye lighting up my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. Lee explains that it's time to give all the senses a break from all they have taken in so far. I imagine the same light moving over all the parts of my body, allowing each part to relax. I imagine the light as it travels up and down my neck, my arms (both sides), my fingers, my chest and stomach, my spine and hips, my legs, my toes. When I imagine the light in my chest, I envision a hollow in my chest, without color or form. This part of the process takes approximately ten minutes of the allotted twenty minutes.
Then, I go into the meditation. I coax my thoughts down from my brain to the hollow I've created in my chest. I use a mantra like "at ease" or "peace" to gently swat away thoughts as they arise. Usually, there are only a few seconds when I have no thoughts. As soon as I realize I'm not having a thought, there it goes. The blank time evaporates, but I'm left with a surge of warm energy.
I do not use an alarm to let me know when the twenty minutes are up. The first few times I meditated, my eyes popped open at the twenty minute mark. Now, I'm always tempted to open my eyes at minute fifteen. Since I know this about myself, I tell myself to go back into the meditation for a few more minutes when I get the urge to stop. Usually, I have three minutes left even with this method. I do close my eyes again and finish the full twenty minutes of meditation.
The next part is the most difficult for me. This is the place where I try to transition between meditating and jumping back into my day. At this point, I'm ready to start the next thing, but I try to sit with my eyes half open and gaze at the floor. I rarely succeed in staying in this place for more than a few seconds.
Then, as they say, rinse and repeat. Daily.