Use the tools: Days Seventy-Three - Seventy-Six

Anxiety, my old friend.  All the things I have no control over, those are the things that worry me most.  The more unproductive the worry, the stronger it wraps around my belly, my throat, my head. Yesterday, I turned off my phone for an hour and met with my teacher and friend, Lee.  I listed my worries, health and emotional concerns for family members.  Even though I know my worries are reasonable (I don't look for drama), I am disappointed in myself.  Shouldn't the meditation have diminished all that misdirected anger and free floating anxiety?  Really?

"Let's use the tools," Lee said and we meditated together.   I went in very deep.  Dreamlike thoughts floated by, nonsensical things I can't remember now.  The blur is appealing.   The ephemeral lovely.