Mortality happens: Days Ninety-Six - Ninety-Eight

My friend is very, very sick.  It sucks. I was widowed early in life.  Thirty seven, cancer, I'm okay.

Still, even after all I've gone through, still, I can't believe that we are mortal.  Yesterday, a person in the inner circle of friends of my friend said to me:  "Yes, these things happen, but not to people WE know."  But these things do happen to people we  know, and have happened to people I know, so why can I still not believe it?

I sit by myself for twenty long minutes of trying not to think.  I do this.  I have put it all aside for twenty minutes and now I am back to not being able to wrap my head around what is happening to my friend and his family.  It is constant, it is in my bloodstream, it will be with me for 23 hours and 40 minutes every day.