I haven't seen the hawk for several weeks. Then, a couple of days ago, I heard a familiar caw caw caw caw caw. I ran outside and just caught a flutter of large wing sift along the tree tops. Yesterday he (or she, not sure) was perched on the peak of my roof. We looked at each other for a moment. "Tell me," I said, but my hawk just stared. No response. No flutter of wings, just a stare down. We have a relationship now, my hawk and I. I have no affinity towards birds. Pet birds, hostages in their cages, their little beaks poking out between the bars, make me nervous. But this hawk is a magnificent creature and the fact that it chooses to set up shop on my roof makes me wonder about his perspective on my life. Not that I should assume he has one, but I like to think he thinks about me as much as I think about him. As far as my meditation practice goes, it has gotten a bit spotty in that I no longer meditate daily even though I consider myself to be someone who meditates on a regular basis. I skip days here and there, but never am away from it for more than three days. If I miss three days, I start to feel unsettled and uncentered. That implies that I have become a centered person and really that's not the case. I'm more focused and more centered than I was before I began to meditate, but my desk is still a mess, I watch too much TV, and my reading to-do list grows in geometric proportion to the number of books I finish reading. Oh, and my golf score is horrendous. This list of non-accomplishments goes on and on, but for twenty minutes each day, I allow myself to not attach to the critical rampage that goes on in my head. There's always time enough for that later.
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Meditation is not about ambition. It is about intention. It is not about doing it right or being the best or even about becoming enlightened. It is about sitting in stillness for twenty minutes every day. That’s all. Now, see what happens.