Ghost Anniversaries: Day One Hundred Eighty Four

Interiority can be intrusive. There are calendar dates that circle around me.  I don't think about these dates consciously, but my body always knows when they arrive.  Snippets of  the lost past.  I don't consciously anticipate these dates, but my body does.   I get spacey.  I feel exhausted.  It's impossible to drag myself out of bed.  It takes a while before I realize, -oh, it's August 21st.  I remember what happened on this day so many years ago.  These ghost anniversaries were with me long before I started to meditate.  I wish I could say the meditation practice has made me more attune to these times and more accepting of them, but I still am always shocked when my body knows more than my conscious mind.